Thursday, August 8, 2013

Death Switch

This isn't exactly a two word wonder. It's actually /r/writingprompts August Competition.

I call it The Death Letter.


To Michael Trimmer, 604 Cutter's Way, 85299, Gilbert, Arizona

Dear Michael,

This letter is to inform you a few facts about your late father, Quentin Trimmer. This letter was written pre-emptively before your father's death. This letter tells you the truth.

Son, there are several things that you need to know about your father. First of all, I'm not a spy, I probably died however people said I died, so don't worry that I was actually assassinated by the Mafia or any other such nonsense.

Actually, what this letter concerns is my will. You see, there is a few elements left out in the copy that you have probably read.

In the old copy, as far as I can remember, it said something along the lines of which my assets were spread equally amongst my close relatives, such as your mother, brothers, and sister. Other items of emotional and sentimental value were distributed as seen fit.

There are some issues with this, and you may probably agree with me.

1. My actual estate is far greater than what is listed in the will that you recieved.

2. Your siblings and mother are good for nothing. I was aware for a long time that your siblings were straying to a worse side of life, probably taking after their mother. I'm aware that this caused you grief while I was alive, as I continued to let them live in my household and providing them with food and shelter, both of which they were ungrateful for.

I know you disliked me for keeping them under my roof, and for good reasons. But, I have a reason for it all. I just wanted to make sure, till the very last moment, that they could change. Because you are reading this, apparently,that did not happen.

 I, Quentin Trimmer, in a clear state of mind and of my own will, declare this to by my Last Will and Testament, and revoke all other wills and codicils previously made by me.

I declare my lawyer, Joshua Sanders, to be my personal representative to administer this will, and ask that he be permitted to serve without Court supervision and without posting bond.

I give the entirety of my estate, including:

  • My multiple bank accounts, totalling in value at twelve (12) million dollars
  • My stocks and shares in Google, IBM, Coca Cola, Microsoft, and Apple, netting at the moment of writing over twenty (20) million dollars
  • My property at 604 Cutter's Way, Gilbert, Arizona
  • My property at 64 Linden Ave, Swansea, Wales
  • My business and engineering shop in Chicago, Illinois
To my son, Michael Trimmer.

None of my estate will be given to anyone else under any other circumstance.

The full copy of my Last Will and Testament is in the possession of my lawyer, Joshua Sanders, to be enacted upon the delivery of this letter.

Michael, go to Joshua, and ask him about the true will. When you do, then he may act and you'll collect my estate. I ask that you try to keep this secret for as long as possible, because it is entirely likely that your family members will try and sue for possession, thankfully made impossible by Joshua.

Live a happy life,


Quentin Trimmers.


Actually pretty easy to write. Woo!

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